Electronics
“My sister is a flight attendant, she says after she tells
everyone to turn off all electronics, she goes to the back and pulls out her
phone and starts texting.”
“Pilot here. Having to turn off electronics on a plane is
totally useless.”
“Mobile electronic devices won’t really bring an airplane
down but they can be really annoying to pilots. Just imagine sitting in the
flight deck descending to your destination and hearing the interference of a
100+ cellphones picking up a signal. I have missed a clearance or 2 that way.”
Gross Water
“Whatever you do, do not drink the water in the lav. It is
bad enough to “wash” your hands in it. We sanitize the water tank at selected
maintenance intervals, however parasites build tolerances to these cleaners.
Check the outside of the aircraft when walking in. If the paint is crappy
shape, the plane is in crappy shape. Skydrol (hydraulic fluid) is a nasty fluid
and will dissolve everything. So if the paint is missing, it’s probably from a
Skydrol leak. No one wants a hydraulic leak at 35,000 ft in the air. As you
can’t just pull over and top the reservoir off.”
Blankets & Headphones
“I worked for Southwest as a flight attendant. Those
blankets and pillows? Yeah, those just get refolded and stuffed back in the
bins between flights. Only fresh ones I ever saw were on an originating first
flight in the morning in a provisioning city. Also, if you have ever spread
your peanuts on your tray and eaten, or really just touched your tray at all,
you have more than likely ingested baby poo. I saw more dirty diapers laid out
on those trays than food. And those trays, yeah, never saw them cleaned or sanitized
once.”
“I used to work for warehouse that supplied a certain
airline with items. The headsets that are given to you are not new, despite
being wrapped up. They are taken off the flight, ‘cleaned’, and then packaged
again.”
Getting More Room
“Arm rests – aisle and window seat: Run your hand along the
underside of the armrest, just shy of the joint you’ll feel a button. Push it,
and it will lift up. Adds a ton of room to the window seat and makes getting
out of the aisle a helluva lot easier.”
The Captain
“Also if a passenger
is causing a scene in the jetway he can refuse to let them on and take off
without them.
The captain has almost limitless authority when the doors
are closed. He is allowed to arrest people, write fines and even take the will
of a passenger.”
In Case Of Emergencies
“That if the oxygen masks drop down, you only have about 15
minutes of oxygen from the point of pulling them down. However, that is more
than enough time for the pilot to take us to a lower altitude where you can
breathe normally.”
“Turns out 15 mins is the minimum set out by the FAA. Bonus:
Most systems generate oxygen through a chemical reaction – this can cause a
burning smell in the cabin, however it is normal and to be expected.”
“The air you breathe on an airplane is actually compressed
air taken from the engines. A large portion (25% to 50%) is blown in the
flightdeck, the rest is for the passengers. The air leaves the airplane via a
small hole in the back of the fuselage.”
Perks On Traveling
“I work Revenue Management for an airline. On average, the
cheapest time to BUY a ticket is Tuesday afternoon. The cheapest time to FLY is
Tuesday, Wednesday, or Saturday. This applies to US flights in my experience.”
“When the drink cart is coming through, you can ask for a
full can of pop instead of the tiny little cup filled with mostly ice.”
Baggage
“The little roller coaster cars have RFID tags in them.
There are scanners everywhere to hit the baggage tags for updates. With this,
the bags are tracked in real time. It’s not 100% effective but it works pretty
well.”
“My partner worked for Delta for about 4 years as one of the
guys who loads and unloads your luggage and waves wands. Nothing is safe in
those bags. They pop open all the time and your [expletive] just gets
haphazardly shoved back in. They get tossed around like volleyballs. TSA is a
lie. A lot of decisions about boarding or switching flights, etc., are at
employees discretion.”
Closing The Doors
“You know all that preflight time where we’re cramming bags
into overhead bins? None of that shows up in our paychecks. Flight attendants
get paid for “flight hours only.” Translation: The clock doesn’t start until
the craft pushes away from the gate. Flight delays, cancellations, and layovers
affect us just as much as they do passengers—maybe even more.
Airlines aren’t completely heartless, though. From the time
we sign in at the airport until the plane slides back into the gate at our home
base, we get an expense allowance of $1.50 an hour. It’s not much, but it helps
pay the rent.”
Tipping Your Stewardess
“Airlines and the Association of Flight Attendants
discourage tipping, so when you offer a tip it is very likely your flight
attendant will turn you down. But if you offer a second time, or slip a few
bills into his or her hand, it will usually be greatly appreciated–and may earn
you a free snack or even an extra-stiff Bloody Mary (if you’re into that kind
of thing). When you receive truly extraordinary service, though, a letter or
email to the airline praising the work of a specific flight attendant or crew
is most appreciated and can sincerely help a flight attendant’s career.”
Sit In The Front…
There is one thing that many airlines do that most
passengers do not know which I learned from a pilot friend. Even if the service
standards are getting lower and lower most airlines will still be nice enough
to let you check the cockpit cabin if you ask politely. The trick to getting
this insider tour is asking to the crew once the airplane has landed and the
pilots are not rushing to get ready for take off. Next time you fly, ask nicely
and you might be surprised!
Sit In The Back
There are certain places you can sit that increases your
chances of survival if the plane were to crash. According to both TIME magazine
and Popular mechanics data, sitting at the back of the airplane, particularly
in the middle seats, will increase your survival rate if the plane were to
crash. Thus I always try to sit in the back, even if it is more inconvenient in
terms of boarding and disembarking from the plane. It also allows for much
easier access to the restroom, if the need arises.
Food
“My dad works for a large airline, he told me a few little
things. Pilots are served different meals and cannot share, this is done in
case of food poisoning. Stealing food, even if they are going to throw it out,
can get you fired instantly. You can ask your supervisor, but you cannot take
food. They don’t want people messing with it.”
Scary Moments
“I have a friend who’s a commercial pilot. Around five years
ago he was doing a flight from LA to Tokyo when an anonymous caller phoned in a
bomb threat while they were over the middle of the Pacific. Apparently they
have procedures for this kind of thing, but there was nothing anyone could do
in this situation except stay calm and not alert the passengers (obviously). He
said for the rest of the flight every bump of turbulence made his adrenaline
spike. They took this case especially seriously because there was a group of
foreign dignitaries sitting in the first class cabin.”
“If the plane is being highjacked when the pilot lands they
will leave the wing flaps up that slow the plane down, this is to signal the
airport that there is something happening in the plane.”
Staying Safe
The thing most people don’t realize about flying on an
airplane is that it’s one of the safest ways to travel. During takeoff, pretty
much everyone I know says a prayer and grips the hand of their loved ones tightly
– which is understandable considering you are on a massive pile of metal which
by some feat of engineering seems to get and stay airborne. Statistically there
is a very low risk of a life threatening situation in a plane because there are
strict standards in place to ensure the safety of air travel. We should be more
worried about who we have to sit next to than a plane crash!
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